Under One Roof: Service Dogs & Pet Dogs

I live a very tightly managed life. I have to, on account of living with full body Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Managing as many details about how a room is set up, how easy it is to make meals, how many steps I need to take to accomplish a task, having different clothing options for different sensitivity level days, how much noise or stimulation I’m exposed to, and so on are only a few of the multitude of measures we’ve taken in our lives to minimize flares and maximize my service dog’s ability to help me.

It’s easy to forget how particular we have been about building our life sandbox for me, because by now, it’s not “accommodation” by our metrics, it’s life.

Recently, we stepped outside our sandbox to go on vacation to see my family on the East Coast, and got an extremely jarring shocks to our systems as a result. 1,800 miles driven, there & back, 2 days each way, and days of being without our system of structure, mitigation, and the added complication of something we usually have the luxury to avoid… The Untrained Pet Dog. It was a disaster and an absolute mistake to go at all. Me being me, I began writing this blog post on the drive home to offer suggestions to fellow and future service dog teams on handling this situation better than we did.

**Before I jump into the ways mixing service dogs and pet dogs can go wrong, I do want to state that there are pet owners who DO train their dogs, who DO have a system of communication with their dogs, and who DO take the effort to be respectful & mindful about their dog being around another dog. Those are not the pet owners this post is meant to warn or prepare for. This is directed towards mixing pets who have zero or little training, who have been “force free/pure positive” trained, and/or known behavioral issues.

Why Mixing Service Dogs & Pet Dogs Can Be Problematic

It’s potentially dangerous for the service dog. If a pet dog has behavioral issues such as resource guarding, reactivity, aggression, or even if they simply are rude & have zero manners, their actions could potentially hurt a service dog. It may be a small injury that heals fine, but still means our dog can’t assist us for a few days, which is chaotic for us since we rely on them for medical assistance. Or worse, if a pet dog attacks our service dog, it could make our service dog nervous or reactive to future dogs, causing us to have to remove our service dog from work completely and either re-home them, or be able-bodied enough to re-train through their behavioral issues while also starting over on a new service dog.
It’s potentially dangerous or condition-triggering for us. A pet dog rushing up to say hi could bump into us, causing a loss of balance, a pain flare up, or us to instinctually block them from approaching which could also cause a loss in balance and/or increase in pain. A pet dog who resource guards, has a tendency to snap or growl, has bitten before, jumps on people, or thinks its okay to launch into people’s laps without invite are all actions which could cause flare ups for various disabilities, or could be actions we’re helpless against depending on our disability.
The pet dog is a distraction. We ask our SDs to ignore A LOT. In a home setting, many service dogs exist is a semi-on/off state. Throw in a house dog they also have to ignore who maybe wants to play and it becomes a big distraction when called to work.
Cats. Cats are expert pesterers. If a cat won’t choose to ignore your service dog, is know to be afraid of or aggressive towards dogs, they need to be kept in a different room or in a crate for everyone’s well-being. A cat with a bad attitude can easily ruin your service dog’s resolve about cats, and if your SD develops reactivity or fearfulness around cats, it could potentially be a career-ender. SDs have to be neutral about all animals and people. If the cat loves dogs, and everyone gets along fine, it’s less of an issue, but cats still need to be a consideration.

Pick Your Pet Friends Wisely

People Discriminate Against Us All the Time Because of Our Extremely Well-Behaved Service Dog. It’s about time pet owners got their share of scrutiny. And if your friends blow up over this, you may need to reconsider your friends.
I do have friends with pet dogs. I (mostly) enjoy being around their pet dogs. Max’s tail is really the only sticking point, he’s a happy tail kid, and it’s painful. When I’m at my friends’ homes, and they have pet dogs, or their dogs are at our house, we all follow 4 very simple rules.

No playing together inside. Playtime is outside, and only after a period of joint calmness first. At any point during play, all dogs need to be able to respond quickly to a recall and take a break.
Each dog is always on their respective Place mat or being held on leash if still learning, unless we’re actively getting up to go do something. This is to give each dog their own space, to prevent pestering, and to reinforce being calm together. *At one point, one of my friends did have a dog she was still feeling out around other dogs, so when I came over she simply put that dog in another room for everyone’s wellbeing. No need to add extra stress to her dog if she wasn’t wanting it to be training time, and she didn’t want to risk the safety of my SD.
If I call my service dog to me, my friend immediately calls away their pet dog, if they were wandering freely, to give my team space to work & keep me safe.
We “co-parent” and don’t get offended by it. If one of us misses something our friend’s dog did that was out of line, we correct it and reinforce what’s supposed to be done. They accept part of my brain is always in trainer mode, and we all agree we can’t see all of the things all the time. There’s times my SD makes a mistake and my friend reinforces the rules for me if I’m out of the room, or focused on making dinner. It’s not a big deal. We all have similar rules or know what each other’s rules are.

How to Explain & What to Ask For

Look Around Your Home & Think Through the Tasks Your SD Does, and the Space Your Teams Needs to Do Them
Realistically, when you travel, your service dog may not be able to do all of their normal tasks because other places are not set up for a SD the way your home is. However, there are a few notes you can tell people ahead of time. For example, our team’s notes are…

When Austin wears RED in the house, I am having a bad day and he will be helping me walk in the house
We will bring our own tug ropes
Are you worried about your floors being scratched? We usually travel with a mobile pen in case its needed for dog management or to help make a den for Austin to sleep in.
Where would be good spots to put a Place blanket for Austin where he can rest?

Explain Your Disability for the 1000th Time, And Be Very Clear About Triggers
For our CRPSers…

Anytime I touch something, bump into a wall, or have to move my arms more than 3x to accomplish a task, it causes pain for me
I won’t say I’m in pain. I’m here to spend time with family, and I intend to push through in order to spend time with you. That doesn’t mean I’m OKAY.
When I am in a bad flare, it looks like __________ (for me, I get quiet, I move slower, and if I need to keep functioning I have to have music playing)
As part of my disability, if something startles me or stresses me out, I experience an adrenaline episode. This is not an anxiety attack or a tantrum or a meltdown. It is a sudden overflow of adrenaline being forced through my body and I may or may not have control over how I handle it in the moment. (For me, when these happen at home, I try to exercise, or say out loud that I’m having an adrenaline surge so my friends/family don’t feel attacked, or I go play a computer game.)
I need to use small spoons to eat, because big table spoons cause hand tremors and hand pain.
Please don’t give me nice china or nice glasses. I frequently get tremors or sudden hand weakness and don’t want to break anything. (I asked to be not given nice china and people genuinely looked offended. Like, no, I don’t want to break your nice things. We don’t use nice breakable things at home because this is a known problem!)

You get the idea. Be very concise. Be very clear. Don’t try to actually explain the mechanics, just explain the impacts of daily life most people won’t consider.
Explain Your Relationship with Pets in Your Daily Life
Specifically on this point, most SD teams I know, including my own, are typically on high alert when we go into public for “friendly” (ahem, RUDE) pet dogs suddenly invading our team’s space. And the ones who are 100% NOT friendly. We body block, block with our legs, kick dogs away, use walking sticks, and some teams have pepper spray for off-leash strays, but the point is, we don’t see pet dogs the way the general public does. Not anymore. We need to help our families try to understand that very crucial point, and why, and that our bodies may instinctively react to push their dog away if it rushes up to us. Pet owners may see this as a sign we “hate” their dog. I won’t presume to know your sentiment here; I don’t necessarily hate any dogs, but I do hold issues with dog owners who don’t take more effort to be responsible dog owners. People who don’t train because they think their “baby” is perfect or because they don’t want to put work into it.
Suggested Rules for Everyone to Agree On

Either dog pestering each other should be corrected and dogs called off
Each dog should have an area that’s all theirs, to go to and take a break. Be it Place, a Crate or an Expen.
All owners should have an eye out for what their dog is doing, and be ready to manage their own dog.
Ask the team if they feel comfortable letting the dogs play at all, or if they’d prefer all of the dogs be kept separate
There need to be routes through the house and to high use areas like water bowls, where each dog can safely navigate and give the other dog personal space respect
No greetings on leash
Pets should be kept on a held leash or confined in a pen/crate/house gate, if they do not have a system of Place, Leave It, Recall, and Boundaries in place with their owners.
People should ask ahead of time when are okay times to pet/interact with your service dog

Additionally,

Pet dog owners need to learn to see when a SD is working and when their handler is in a more precarious position & may suddenly need assistance, and be ready to call their dog away to give the team space. If you don’t know, assume & keep your pet dog out of the team’s immediate space.
Pet dog owners need to understand/we need to explain, that this applies to all types of SD teams, not just those with balance issues
Pet dog owners need to be accepting that if they do not assume responsibility for their dog, a SD handler or SD team member might intervene for the safety of the team, regardless of your feelings. We don’t hate your dog (some of us might) – we are looking out for our well being, quality of life, and reducing workplace stress for our SD who is already asked to do a massive amount of “Don’t respond like a dog”

If Your SD is for Balance/Help Walking, Be Sure People Know Your SD = Cane
I had to explain this recently and the person’s facial reaction was bafflement, as if this had genuinely never occurred to them. The family pet dog had invaded my team’s space on multiple occasions to say hi, and to initiate play. The final time I had been holding onto Austin’s harness for in-house support, when I cross-checked the pet dog with my knee to block from Austin’s space. (Yes, this maneuver is risky for my balance on a good day. Yes, it’s painful for me. The other dog was fine. It’s also instinctual to me after close to 10 years of working with a service dog & training dogs. His owner was horrified.)

I asked calmly, “Would you have let _____ invade the space of someone using a cane?”

“Oh, but, of course not!”

“Okay… Austin helps me walk. He is my cane.”

”Oh. Oh. Well, I just never thought of him that way.”

I’ve been explaining to my family for 9 years how my Mobility Service Dogs help me walk, navigate stairs, open doors, move objects, pick up items, find assistance, and more. In none of that time did it fully translate as “my service dog helps me with my disability in similar ways a cane or walker would.” I’m not writing this to rant or disparage, I’m writing this to keep you safer than I kept myself. You can explain, you may think you’ve won ground and they get it, and it’s entirely possible they do not and will not.
It won’t be your failure.

“My Family Has Pets & I Know They Won’t Listen…”

My vote as a professional and a fellow SD handler? Don’t go.

That saying, “you can’t choose your family?” I prefer Bobby’s line from Supernatural – “Family don’t end with blood.” Once you’re a grown up, you can choose your family, and should. Family should be people who genuinely support you, love you, try to understand and accept your disability and your service dog, and who see you for who you are now, not for who they labelled you as when you were a past version of you. My family isn’t on the East Coast anymore. I see that now.

If you know your family has pets who will…

Harass your service dog (pester, resource guard, invade space, be rude, not let rest, be a constant work distraction, etc.)
Potentially harm your service dog
Potentially harm you
Invade your team’s space, making it hard to work
Invade your team’s space, being a safety hazard to you
Behave in a way which will trigger your condition (jump on you, paw at you, bark a lot, lick you, be underfoot, get in between you & your SD, bite you, etc.)
Make it difficult for your service dog to have the space necessary to do their job

And you know your family either has no way to communicate with their dog to control their behavior, or is completely unwilling to confine their dog or cats while you’re there, you have a hard choice to make:

Go without your service dog (leaving them at home)
Go with your service dog & risk your team’s safety
Politely decline the invite completely

Personally, as a professional, I cannot recommend putting your service dog in a situation like that. The above list is what we were exposed to, and, thankfully the dog didn’t have any aggression, reactivity, or resource guarding issues, but even without those red flags, it was dangerous for me and unfair to Austin.

You have spent 1.5 – 2 years and hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars training your service dog. Ultimately, how you let your service dog mix with pet dogs is your choice, but your service dog’s well-being and their necessity in your life are not easily replaced or repaired, your safety & medical well-being matters, and your service dog is there to work. Especially if you’ve travelled someplace far from home, you’re likely in worse shape than your “normal.”

Your service dog has very important job. They need your help to do it safely, and your team needs other people’s respect & courtesy.